Acquisition
The discovery that you're no longer a big fish in a small pond, or even a small fish in a big pond, but a small fish in a big fish.
Beauty
If you're attractive enough on the outside, people will forgive you for being irritating to the core.
Change
Politicians are like diapers. They need to be changed often and for the same reason.
Curiosity
Some Places Remain Unknown Because No One Has Ventured Forth. Others Remain So Because No One Has Ever Come Back.
Dare Slack
When birds fly in the right formation, they need only exert half the effort. Even in nature, teamwork results in collective laziness.
Delusions
There is no greater joy than soaring high on the wings of your dreams, except maybe the joy of watching a dreamer who has nowhere to land but in the ocean of reality.
Diversity
Because every person deserves an equal chance to prove their incompetence.
Flattery
If you want to get to the top, prepare to kiss a lot of the bottom
Humiliation
The harder you try, the dumber you look.
Ineptitude
If you can't learn to do something well, learn to enjoy doing it poorly.
Laziness
Success is a journey, not a destination. So stop running.
Legacy
It took millions of years to create something amazingly extraordinary. You have about seventy-four.
Josh Billings
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.
About the only difference between the poor and the rich, is this, the poor suffer misery, while the rich have to enjoy it.
Advice is like castor oil, easy enough to give but dreadful uneasy to take.
Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there.
Common sense is instinct, and enough of it is genius.
Common sense is the knack of seeing things as they are, and doing things as they ought to be done.
Confess your sins to the Lord and you will be forgiven; confess them to man and you will be laughed at.
Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed.
About the only difference between the poor and the rich, is this, the poor suffer misery, while the rich have to enjoy it.
Advice is like castor oil, easy enough to give but dreadful uneasy to take.
Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there.
Common sense is instinct, and enough of it is genius.
Common sense is the knack of seeing things as they are, and doing things as they ought to be done.
Confess your sins to the Lord and you will be forgiven; confess them to man and you will be laughed at.
Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed.
P. J. O'Rourke
America wasn't founded so that we could all be better. America was founded so we could all be anything we damned well pleased.
Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.
Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.
Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy, the whores are us.
Feeling good about government is like looking on the bright side of any catastrophe. When you quit looking on the bright side, the catastrophe is still there.
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs.
There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences.
Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.
Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.
Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy, the whores are us.
Feeling good about government is like looking on the bright side of any catastrophe. When you quit looking on the bright side, the catastrophe is still there.
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs.
There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences.
Friends
Old friends pass away, new friends appear. It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives. The important thing is to make it meaningful: a meaningful friend - or a meaningful day.
Dalai Lama
A friend who is far away is sometimes much nearer than one who is at hand. Is not the mountain far more awe-inspiring and more clearly visible to one passing through the valley than to those who inhabit the mountain?
Kahlil Gibran
Friends can help each other. A true friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself - and especially to feel. Or, not feel. Whatever you happen to be feeling at the moment is fine with them. That's what real love amounts to - letting a person be what he really is.
Jim Morrison
A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself.
Jim Morrison
Each friend represents a world in us, a world not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.
Anais Nin
I want my friend to miss me as long as I miss him.
Saint Augustine
Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.
Albert Camus
Dalai Lama
A friend who is far away is sometimes much nearer than one who is at hand. Is not the mountain far more awe-inspiring and more clearly visible to one passing through the valley than to those who inhabit the mountain?
Kahlil Gibran
Friends can help each other. A true friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself - and especially to feel. Or, not feel. Whatever you happen to be feeling at the moment is fine with them. That's what real love amounts to - letting a person be what he really is.
Jim Morrison
A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself.
Jim Morrison
Each friend represents a world in us, a world not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.
Anais Nin
I want my friend to miss me as long as I miss him.
Saint Augustine
Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.
Albert Camus
Roses are Red Violets are Blue -Bradley Hathaway
roses are red violets are blue
i wanna write you poetry and tell you how much i love you
but I can't find the words
no I can't find the words
I could buy you lots of chocolates
I could buy you pretty things
I could take you to an opera
I could take you to a swing
and push you back and forth
and push you back and forth
like a little kid sometimes I feel silly when your near
I wanna whisper a secret in your ear
I love you
and I'm not Shakespeare so i can't say this as well as he could
and I'm not Van Gough I can't paint you a picture as well as he could
so I'll write this simple song
I'll just sing this simple song
and tell you that I love you
and when we get real old
and get discounts where ever we go
and you walk with a walker and I limp with a cane
and you start to complain
how your hair gets messed up in the rain
or your arthritis is bad
I'll point to the love that's been beside us all these years
and i'll tell you then dear like i'm telling you here
I love you
i wanna write you poetry and tell you how much i love you
but I can't find the words
no I can't find the words
I could buy you lots of chocolates
I could buy you pretty things
I could take you to an opera
I could take you to a swing
and push you back and forth
and push you back and forth
like a little kid sometimes I feel silly when your near
I wanna whisper a secret in your ear
I love you
and I'm not Shakespeare so i can't say this as well as he could
and I'm not Van Gough I can't paint you a picture as well as he could
so I'll write this simple song
I'll just sing this simple song
and tell you that I love you
and when we get real old
and get discounts where ever we go
and you walk with a walker and I limp with a cane
and you start to complain
how your hair gets messed up in the rain
or your arthritis is bad
I'll point to the love that's been beside us all these years
and i'll tell you then dear like i'm telling you here
I love you
Steven Wright
A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?
Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
How young can you die of old age?
I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.
I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it.
Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?
Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
How young can you die of old age?
I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.
I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it.
Mark Twain
Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.
Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
Don't tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish.
Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
Don't tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish.
War
In war, truth is the first casualty.
-Aeschylus
Dulce bellum inexpertis. ("War is a delightful to those who have no experience of it")
-Erasmus
I did not mean to be killed today.
-dying words of the Vicomte de Turenne, at the Battle of Salzbach, 1675
Nothing except a battle lost can be half so melancholy as a battle one.
-The Dike of Wellington, in a dispatch from Waterloo, 1815
A brave Captain is a root, out of which as branches the courage of his soldiers doth spring.
-Sir Phillip Sidney
-Aeschylus
Dulce bellum inexpertis. ("War is a delightful to those who have no experience of it")
-Erasmus
I did not mean to be killed today.
-dying words of the Vicomte de Turenne, at the Battle of Salzbach, 1675
Nothing except a battle lost can be half so melancholy as a battle one.
-The Dike of Wellington, in a dispatch from Waterloo, 1815
A brave Captain is a root, out of which as branches the courage of his soldiers doth spring.
-Sir Phillip Sidney
Mark Twain
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
Laws control the lesser man... Right conduct controls the greater one.
Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
Laws control the lesser man... Right conduct controls the greater one.
courage
It is not the critic who counts, not the one who points out how the strong man stumbled or how the doer of deeds might have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred with sweat and dust and blood; who strives valiantly;who errs and comes short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause; who, if he wins, knows the triumph of high achievement; and who, if he fails, at least fails while doing greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.
Cowboy Wisdom
A wise man fights to win, but he is twice a fool who has no plan for possible defeat.
-Louis L'Amour
-Louis L'Amour
Time
Start a large project like saving the world. Keeps you busy. Guaranteed for a lifetime.
-Peter Jenkins
-Peter Jenkins
Sport Quotes
My motto was always to keep swinging. Whether I was in a slump or feeling badly or having trouble off the field, the only thing to do was keep swinging.
Hank Aaron
Five guys on the court working together can achieve more than five talented individuals who come and go as individuals.
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
I honestly didn't expect this much attention, but it just keeps happening so I must be doing something right.
Freddy Adu
I've come to accept that the life of a frontrunner is a hard one, that he will suffer more injuries than most men and that many of these injuries will not be accidental.
Pele
I hated every minute of training, but I said, "Don't quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion."
Muhammad Ali
Hank Aaron
Five guys on the court working together can achieve more than five talented individuals who come and go as individuals.
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
I honestly didn't expect this much attention, but it just keeps happening so I must be doing something right.
Freddy Adu
I've come to accept that the life of a frontrunner is a hard one, that he will suffer more injuries than most men and that many of these injuries will not be accidental.
Pele
I hated every minute of training, but I said, "Don't quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion."
Muhammad Ali
SCUM
"To this very hour we go hungry and thirsty, we are in rags, we are brutally treated, we are homeless. We work hard with our own hands. When we are cursed, we bless; when we are persecuted, we endure it; when we are slandered, we answer kindly. Up to this moment we have become the scum of the earth, the refuse of the world."
1 Corinthians 4:11-13
1 Corinthians 4:11-13
People
"If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed."
-Albert Einstein
-Albert Einstein
Some Inspirational Quotes
Each one of them is Jesus in disguise.
-Mother Teresa
Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.
-Mother Teresa
I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world.
-Mother Teresa
-Mother Teresa
Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.
-Mother Teresa
I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world.
-Mother Teresa
For The Geeks
What do you get when lightening strikes a work of Shakespeare? An Ionic Pentameter!
If Windows' new slogan is life without walls, then where are all the windows?
Two birds are sitting on a fence, Pete and Repeat. Pete flies away.
Q: Who's left?
A: If there's only one there, can it be on the left? Who was on the right? And didn't you say Pete left? Perhaps Pete will return shortly this won't perplex you any longer. They're just birds sitting on a fence, that's what birds do.
What's the difference between introverted engineers and extroverted engineers? When you talk to introverted engineers, they look at their shoes. When you talk to extroverted engineers, they look at your shoes.
If Windows' new slogan is life without walls, then where are all the windows?
Two birds are sitting on a fence, Pete and Repeat. Pete flies away.
Q: Who's left?
A: If there's only one there, can it be on the left? Who was on the right? And didn't you say Pete left? Perhaps Pete will return shortly this won't perplex you any longer. They're just birds sitting on a fence, that's what birds do.
What's the difference between introverted engineers and extroverted engineers? When you talk to introverted engineers, they look at their shoes. When you talk to extroverted engineers, they look at your shoes.
zig zag
If God would have wanted us to live in a permissive society He would have given us Ten Suggestions and not Ten Commandments.
Zig Ziglar
Zig Ziglar
A Little Scott Adams
If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?
Let's form proactive synergy restructuring teams.
Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion.
Let's form proactive synergy restructuring teams.
Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion.
If he only knew
"You're planning to make a ship sail against wind and tide by lighting a fire below deck? I don't have time to listen to that kind of nonsense!"
- Napoleon, about Robert Fultons plans to make a Steamboat.
- Napoleon, about Robert Fultons plans to make a Steamboat.
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